Handling Social Anxiety: How to be a People’s Person?

-By S.P.

 Now that we’re grown, making friends isn’t as simple as sharing lunch at recess. Feeling displaced in social situations can be extremely overwhelming when social anxiety takes the wheel. Simple get-togethers become dreaded, and before you know it, you’re the resident social pariah. This guide should help you curb your introverted tendencies long enough to make an acquaintance’s birthday party bearable. Best case scenario? You become comfortable socializing with strangers (an introvert’s worst nightmare!)

Accept who you are:

This seems relatively straightforward, right? Wrong. People often compare themselves to the more outgoing members of the group… to their detriment. There’s nothing wrong with being introverted -it’s a built-in feature. Being introverted doesn’t mean being a loner. It simply means getting your point across with fewer words. Learn to love your observant nature and the things you pick up on when people think no one’s listening…

Know what you’re talking about:

You know those awkward interjections when you mindlessly blurt something out? The conversation halts, and everyone’s staring at you… Yes, those we’re trying to avoid. If you know the kind of group you’re going to be around, you can discern what the flow of conversation will be and brace yourself. If you’re going in completely blind, keep your input neutral. The key to breaking the ice as a quieter person is thinking about what you want to say beforehand - I mean like actually formulate the words in your mind. Saying something purposeful will always make an impact. That little bit of confidence will carry you straight into a natural conversation. 

Most fears are in your mind:

Worrying about saying the wrong thing or what people might think is more a ‘you’ thing than a group thing. It’s a safe assumption that whatever faux pas you made will be forgotten in the next 5 seconds. People of the 21st century don’t have the greatest attention spans - we’ve advanced from Shakespearean plays to TikTok videos. Have a little confidence in yourself, girl. It’s attractive too!

Don’t overuse the buffer-friend card:

Let me set the scene: you find yourself at the epicenter of a social warzone, surrounded by unfamiliar faces. Luckily, you’re safe because your best friend is there to help you shoulder through. While that safety net is great, it’s not an everlasting lifeline. You should still be able to hold your own in a conversation. Your friends are attending as your support system - use that to make sure to interact with other people at the event. Speaking to one person all night sort of makes you harder to talk to, and that’s not a great first impression.