The I dont's before I do: Red Flags in Relationships

- By L.S.P.

Oxford Languages quite literally defines a red flag as a ‘warning sign of danger’. I know what some of you ladies may be thinking, “I like danger”, “Danger sounds like what I need to spice up my life”. I'm here to open your eyes, you don't need that kind of adventure. You'd be better off taking a hike. The saying goes, ‘love is blind’, but what you don't hear is: If you squint hard enough, a red flag becomes a red heart. Here are five red flags that shouldn't be overlooked whilst on the hunt for the Ken to your Barbie:

1. The boy who can’t grow up

In the beginning, he's cute and loveable. You tell all your girls that he's your baby. This lasts about up until your baby can't do his own laundry. You need a man in your life - someone who provides for you emotionally and physically. If his personality is that of a ‘momma's boy’, I'm going to hold your hand when I say this: the red flag is hoisted high, sister. You need to escape, there is no room for immaturity in a healthy relationship. 

2. The man who just doesn’t know what the future holds…

Tomorrow isn't promised, and no amount of manifesting with your rose quartz or your amethyst will ever tell you what lies ahead. If you feel as though you're ready to take that big girl step and put a label on it, but he doesn't want to, find somebody who will. There are more than eight billion people on this planet, girl, anybody would be lucky to call you their own! A man with commitment issues is a man who doesn't deserve you.   

                                       

3. The man who forgot to take his meds

As females, we have the desire to be wanted, to be protected… to be needed. However, there’s a fine line between being needed and being controlled. A man who doesn't project his insecurities is a must. If he restricts your choice of clothes or how often you go out with your girlies, it's not because he's overprotective of you. ‘Your man’ is worried you'll go out and find someone better. Take that opportunity.   

                                                                                                                           

4. The man who’s allergic to the truth

A man who adds a few inches to his real height or describes his construction job as ‘civil engineering’ is still a liar. If he can lie to you about the little stuff, imagine what else he’s lying about. Every healthy relationship is built on trust. If that is something you don’t see in your man, then he belongs to the streets performing his ‘civil engineering’ duties. 

         5. The man who suffers from inaction 

He promises you the world - all good and well. But if you don’t see concrete signs of him making the effort to improve your lives as a couple, whilst proving his love to you, kick him to the curb. Everyone says that actions speak louder than words, but I think certain words speak volumes - the words of an empty promise. It’s as though you can almost see that red flag flailing about in the distance.